So, im gonna be writing some stuff here and there cause i need to keep some things in check, because it feels like my heads is about to burst open from the amount of shit that have been goin on.

First things first finally finished college, never gonna miss that hell hole, the last two years in there we're a pain in the ass, had to watch some friends go on they're ways, and see as some of the people i used to chill with just be full of themselves,

but thats how it is nowadays, atleast i got to meet this girl, not gonna say her name but she became someone i spend most of my time with cause she became my girlfriend for a moment, goth chick, with great forms, we loved each others to death, we we're always together except outside of college, actually felt good for once but shit hit the fan really quick as it always do with me, i don't know why but i feel that i am im cursed in some ways, eveytime something good happens to me, something bad is always wating to hit me like a truck, but anyway, when i she opened up bout her problems, having a shit mother, being stalked by an ex that was a basically a predator and ohter familly bullshit, i stayed composed and tried to help told her to call the authorities for help and all that but she kept saying that she was scared that they weren't gonna do nothing bout it, kept tellin her to do it for many month but like always she forgot or she was scared.

So some days later she comes up to me talking about that her ex was stalking me and her when we would go to college, so i told her that i was gonna deal with him, so i asked her to find a picture of him and his info so i could know how he looked like so i could find him.

Many day later i finally caught him stalking me from his car, so i went up to him told him to get out of his car and he did,

he tried acting tough and he started insulting me, after that i lost it and beat him the fuck up i broke his nose after that he fell on the ground so i started to beat him more, looking back at it i wash i would've kill him, but my girlfriend told me to stop so i did and we basically ran.

After that i had news that the guy basically fled to the south of the country because of me and also cause the police we're after him after my girlfirend had the courage to finally ask them to deal with it.

after all that everything seemed better, but since her life at home wasn't the best i had trouble sleeping knowing how her mother would treat her and all that, so tried helping her the best i could, but she didn't wanted to call the cops on her mom cause she had an handicapped brother that she needed to be there for, so we had a couple arguments for a while cause of that, so i basically told her that i was done with her cause i didn't wanted to feel like shit and bitter cause i couldn't do anything to help her, but i stayed with her anyway cause i loved her and i felt like a total dick saying all that.

after all that i felt more and more like shit cause i couldn't deal with all that anymore, each day i was getting more pissed and angry, and my friends and my girlfriend started noticing it, so they made comments bout it and all.

But some days later i was just chilling with some friends at college, the usual, when i see my girlfriend just coming up from behind saying "hi" to me, thats when i see her dressed like a whore and it made me pissed, that i just said "please fuck off", and she got mad and left, after that we argued bout it, and she basically told me she didn't understood why i was so mad at the way she was dressed and that she didn't see anything wrong with her clothes, so i just told her that i was done with her and that i wasn't gonna be dealing with her shit anymore.

And that was that, after all that bullshit college went as normal i never saw her again in said college, and went on with my boring last 2 month of college and finsihed all my exams, now im here and life feels like one big puzzle to me, like im missing a few pieces, had the same nightmares for weeks, weird shit, gory too, and the the right side of my face is killing me.

I feel so lost now ngl, i lost all motivations to do anything, and all i can do is get drunk and look for a job, so suffice to say life isn't goin so well for me.